30 week check-up

We saw Dr. Pepper this am. Baby Z was breached, but Dr P worked his magic, using his hands against my belly to move Z’s head and spine and now he’s upside down again, the way he’s supposed to be. He weighs 3 pounds 5 ounces, which is a little bigger than the norm (30 week old fetuses are usually less than 3 pounds.) Dr P says it’s fine though. I’m still gaining a pound a week, which puts my total weight gain so far at 30 pounds.

Came home to a letter from my insurance company questioning a $65 charge because they believe it to be a “pre-existing condition.” It’s a little puzzling, as the letter doesn’t mention specifics, and I have no medical issues or have ever had any medical issues. Of course their office is closed so I get to mull this over until tomorrow morning. Yay. And FYI, pregnancy is not considered a pre-existing condition.

Fears

I don’t quite know how to put my feelings into words. I’m so scared of losing it. It’s so soon. My boyfriend and I are still trying to figure everything out. He told his mother today. She wasn’t pleased. She doesn’t think we are financially stable enough to have a child.
It’s not perfect, but it feels right. I’m 28. He’s 35. It’s time. But every once in a while I wonder if we are both crazy. This is a total lifestyle change.
How will it affect our relationship? We did everything quickly. We met, and it was such an instant connection that we didn’t wait the customary three days to call, or wait to see each other. From the beginning the chemistry was so palpable, that it was (almost) love at first sight.
So it makes sense that this would be fast as well. The pace of our relationship is just different from what is considered “normal.”

Everything is just so new. We are not telling anyone else. Only one person (yes you!) knows about this blog. Two of my girlfriends know. His mother and his best friend know. I want to keep it that way for now.

I see a doctor next Wednesday. One of my boyfriend’s client is an OB/GYN and he has agreed to see me even without insurance, and won’t charge us. He said that he would take whatever insurance we get. That’s a huge weight off my chest.

I just can’t deal with negativity from other people right now. I just need to believe that what I’m am choosing for myself is right without other people’s opinions clouding my outlook. This is why I am not telling my mother as yet. I have no idea how she will react. I don’t want to deal with it right now.

I just want to be healthy. These are the most crucial months. Anything could happen.

Positively Pregnant

I went to planned parenthood today for pregnancy testing.

It was positive.

I expected it. I’m not so much in shock as I am stressing about how to get health insurance. I signed up for insurance from the Freelancers Union. That won’t start until March. I guess I could wait until then to get my first exam, but I don’t want to risk it. I know I got pregnant in the month of January. I’m hoping I’m just three weeks along now, but I could be five weeks, which means I’d be nine weeks by March.

I will have to pay for the first exam myself. So now I’m trying to find the right place with the right price for me. And also trying to relax.

This is good. I am ready. I have a good man by my side. Everything happens the way it’s supposed to. I am going to be a mommy.