PUPPS or bust

Yesterday’s visit to Dr Pepper was not as fruitful as I had hoped. He didn’t really do much, just took a look at my rashy skin and sent me to a lab to get blood tests done. He said it’s either PUPPS, or another more serious condition. The more serious condition results in infant mortality, and they would have to induce me at 37 weeks to make sure that that doesn’t happen. PUPPS, while really annoying and uncomfortable for me, is harmless to both me and Z. I find out the blood test results in a week.
Pepper did give me a prescription for a numbing cream that he said may or may not help. Unfortunately there isn’t much that can be done medically to help me. However, he did put me in touch with another one of his patients, N, a woman in her sixth month who got PUPPS at 20 weeks. She went to a herbalist, got a few remedies, and the rash and itch disappeared!

Right now, I’m waiting for my pharmacy to fill the prescription. It was out of stock and pricey, even with my insurance. I’ll see how that works before trying the herbs. I have been using Pine Tar soap, which looks like it’s helping with the rash, although not so much with the itching. That’s one of the products that N is using.

What does help with the itching is cold. I’ve taken to sleeping in a very cold air-conditioned room and taking frequent cold showers. It works, but it’s also really impractical. I don’t want to be stuck indoors for the duration of the pregnancy. Hopefully the prescription or the herbal remedies works.

Dr. Pepper also did a quick ultrasound and we found out that Z is back to being breach. He just doesn’t like being upside down. Pepper didn’t make a big deal out of it; I guess it’s the least of my problems at the moment.

Itchy and Scratchy

Silly, silly insurance company. They need to find out my medical history b/c my dr tested for gestational diabetes. The test was negative. As in, I don’t have gestational diabetes, or any other form of diabetes for that matter. So why do they need my previous medical history if I don’t have the condition? If I don’t have it now, then how can it be pre-existing? I don’t understand this logic at all. All this for a $62 charge. Pain in my butt.
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I’ve had an easy pregnancy so far. It’s been drama free, and I’ve just had to deal with mild discomfort. I should have known better. Last week, I started getting an itchy rash on my belly. I had gotten a similar one a few months back, and it was from excessive cocoa butter use. I figured that it was the vitamin E cream I was using instead so I stopped. But the rash didn’t go away. Instead it spread to my thighs, arms, hands, feet and back. Basically everywhere except for my palms, chest, neck and face. (Which I’m very grateful for.)

The itch is unbearable. In all seriousness, I’d rather go through the pain of labor than have to deal with an itch I can’t scratch. (Of course I say this now, never having gone through labor pains) The itch is continuous. So far, nothing has helped. I’ve been through a bottle of calamine lotion, tubes of cortizone 10, gold bond ointment, benedryl spray, oatmeal baths, black tar soap, and benedryl tablets.

As someone who has always avoided medication whenever possible, that’s quite a list. The benedryl spray works best, but I can’t take it in combinaton with the benedryl tablets, as they have the same active ingredient. The Benedryl tablets take about 2 hours to work, and all they really do is put me to sleep. I wake up itching.

As for the cause, I’ve ruled out everything environmental. I’m pretty sure it’s PUPPS, which is a rare condition that affects pregnant women carrying boys. If it is, then I can look forward to being itchy and looking like a leper until I give birth. That’s nine more weeks of this torture.

I seeing Dr. Tepper tomorrow. He wants to get a blood test to confirm.

Vanity / Self-pity

I was/am mentally prepared for a baby. I was not prepared for the toll it would take on my body.

Ack. I got stretch marks. They are on the lower part of my stomach, below my navel. It’s the part of my abdomen I can’t see anymore without a mirror. So it took me a while to realize that they were even there.

When I did discover them, it hit a little harder because I wasn’t expecting them. I had thoroughly convinced myself that I wouldn’t get any, because my mom didn’t get any and none had shown up by the end of my second trimester. Ah, but my mom only gained 15 pounds the entire length of her pregnancy, an amount I gained in the first 15 weeks of mine. Damn her for giving me false hope.

I don’t have a good reason to be upset. My baby is healthy, and this pregnancy has been a breeze so far, with no complications. But darn it, I wanted to be able to bounce back to my former self with little or no evidence of having pushed a human being out of my body. The kid should be evidence enough. I don’t want a pouch, or stretch marks, or saggy boobs! I want my body back!

“Vanity, definitely my favorite sin.”

July / 30 weeks

July came and went and not a blog post to remember it by.

I entered my third trimester with little fanfare. No big changes with the pregnancy, except I’m more uncomfortable and the heat is unbearable. Stairs are my enemy. Walking up one flight leaves me breathless. My belly is stereotypically a “boy” belly: I’m carrying high. This means the baby is pressing on my lungs, making seemingly easy tasks a nightmare. I’m about ready to move past this stage.

Other memorable July events: went on my first cruise, took and passed a glucose test (Yay, no sign of gestational diabetes!), stopped working (Mid-July).

There is much to write about, and hopefully it won’t take me a whole month to post another entry.

Alive and Kicking

Yesterday I took S over to my parents house to meet my mother for the first time. Yes, I’ve been pregnant for 21 weeks and only now are they meeting. Those who haven’t been reading my blogs for long (I’ve been blogging for over five years) won’t get it, because they haven’t been subjected to my blog rants about my mother and her irrational behavior, and the ups and downs of our relationship. I’ve been gun-shy because of her initial reaction to the pregnancy, which you can read about here, and also because of her behavior towards my previous boyfriend, the details of which I’ll keep private.

I wasn’t expecting much, but I daresay it went well. Yay.

Last night I also started to feel peanut kicking! The feeling is hard to describe…it’s like I swallowed one of those high bouncing jacks balls and feel it bouncing around in there. It’s a gentle kicking, a sweet reminder that there’s a living thing swimming around in there.

I’ve also been developing other pregnancy side effects that aren’t quite as gentle. I already know how I’m going to feel when I’m eighty. My bladder can’t hold much liquid and I have to make frequent trips to the bano. Allergies have been kicking my ass this Spring, which isn’t necessary a symptom of the pregnancy, but my violent sneezes frequently cause my tiny bladder to squeeze out a little pee, making me feel like I should start wearing depends.

I’m also achy. I get uncomfortable when I’m in one position for a long time, and its equally uncomfortable to shift positions. I can no longer climb long flights of stairs without running out of breath. Hell, I can’t even walk at a normal (New York) pace!

It’s all worth it though. I may complain and whine (especially to S) but the little things like seeing him on the ultrasound and feeling him make it all worthwhile.

10 second update

Life’s good. Haven’t felt him move yet, but I’m being told that that should happen soon. Feel very normal, even have “normal” allergies.

Am excited for the warm weather.

Am leaking from the breasts. This is normal but not very common. So far I’m the only one who’s started this early. Am taking it all in stride. Seems to happen at the most inopportune times.

Told my supervisor on Monday. Looks like I’ll be working past the end of May.

Trying to cram everything into the second trimester before I start feeling tired again. Am not looking forward to the massive weight gain. At least I don’t anticipate stretch marks. My mom never got them. Woohoo.

Mother’s Day was one of the best I’ve had in recent history. My friends sent me “Happy mother-to-be day” texts. It was cute. Also managed to get my mother a present she actually appreciated and will use. That hasn’t ever happened. Also saw my grandparents and the rest of the maternal side of the family.

Anatomy scan is scheduled for next Friday. He’s going to look like a real human being when we see him! Can’t wait!

Normalcy

I get moody every Thursday and Friday.
I’ve become clingy.
I’m so attached to my boyfriend that it scares me.
I don’t know what to do to make myself feel better. I don’t know what will help.
I know the feeling will pass. It usually does. They say the second trimester is mood-free. I can’t wait.

These days, I just want normalcy. He’s house-sitting at a wonderful penthouse apartment in Dumbo. The plan was for me to stay there with him. I’ve been there since Tuesday and I hate it. I hate the lumpy bed. I hate not being able to make myself a decent meal. The owner is an architect with old world taste. He has a nice kitchen but no modern appliances. He has no non-stick pans. No kitchen utensils.

So obviously I need to go back to my apartment, where I’m comfortable, where I feel at home. It’s what’s best for me and peanut. I’m making myself miserable because I don’t want to leave him. I don’t want to sleep without him for the next ten days.

I’m a hot mess.

Fatigue

I’m definitely pregnant. I have the ultrasound photo to prove it. My due date is early October. We visited the OB/GYN on Wednesday. He’s great, and really made me feel at ease. Lets call him Dr. Pepper. He didn’t charge for the visit, and didn’t do any tests. When I go back in two weeks (when my insurance coverage begins) all the blood work and whatever else that needs to be done will be done. I’ve started taking prenatal vitamins and fish oil capsules.

I’ve gained two pounds. It’s all water weight and all in my belly. And I’m tired all the time. So far, that’s the most annoying part of the pregnancy. I have cancelled afterwork plans multiple times this week because I was just too tired to do anything but go home and go to sleep. I also have lame excuses for my friends since they don’t know about the pregnancy as yet. They must think I’m such a flake.

I’m also still dealing with mood swings. I try to “reason” myself out of them though, telling myself that I’m not really mad/sad, that it’s just a symptom. Thankfully, this passes relatively quickly.
The nausea hasn’t been too bad either. To keep it at bay, I need to eat every few hours. My fridge is now stocked with lots of fruit, veggies, milk and yogurt. I get a wave of nausea when taking the vitamins in the morning, but that passes after five minutes, and I haven’t yet thrown up. [knock on wood.]

My Pregnancy for Dummies book (recommended my Dr. Pepper) says that the fatigue, mood swings and nausea will go away at the second trimester. Yay! I can’t wait to be less tired again!

Today I’m telling one of my closest friends. She’s been away and we haven’t seen each other for about a month, which is rare for us. I’m excited to see her reaction, especially since she’s always warning me about the dangers of the “pull-out” method. I believe it was early January that we joked about me already being pregnant and having a Virgo baby. Hehe.